excessive server load

These days you can get a dedicated Server for as low as $39 and a VPS for as low as $3-8 a month. This will give you dedicated resources and would well suit your needs. Your only problem is setting up everything. If you are a bit of a Noob (I hope I dont offend) then you will need someone expieranced to setup using SSH. Setting up something like Xampp.

But there are alot of people out there that can advise you and google your questions can be helpful. Defonnally worth looking in to a VPS dough.
 
Actually, your host seems right. A blog of your size should not be on a shared hosting environment. I think you should investigate using a lower end VPS.

hes right share hosting, is for small website with low traffic you will need a vps make sure you make a backup cuz your host can shut down your website for using lot of resources. vps will be a solution

try this plug in WP Super Cache
 
Apparantly the problem is that the web pages try to connect to My SQL server too much because your web pages has lots of dynamic content and/or your web site has lots traffic. Solution; implement a cache plugin and/or spread the dynamic contents to pages and/or get a VPS or a server.
 
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