Phobias

[ANMMark]

I had a discussion with Art a little bit ago, and it brought up the topic of a phobia I have.

My phobia, I believe was caused by a bad dream. It wasn't a fantasy type of nightmare, where the dream is something that could never happen. It was a dream about something that is so realistic, and possible, that I believe it created a severe phobia.

I had a nightmare about driving our car across a bridge. Bridges in Pittsburgh cross major, and deep rivers, and are high enough to make you dizzy, or give you the feeling vertigo, when you look over the side. In my dream, I had my entire family in the car while we crossed the Liberty Bridge in Pittsburgh, to go into the city, when a car suddenly hit us from behind, spinning us practically out of control. Our car ended up teetering off the side of the bridge, with nowhere to go.

Instantly, in my dream, I thought of my wife, and my 4 boys (all too young to get themselves out). I woke up with the realization that if that were to ever happen, we would all, most likely, die in the accident.

Not only would it be a definate death, but for those that survived the fall from the bridge, in the car, it would be a slow one, as they drowned.

The phobia that this caused, is so severe that anytime I know our route includes no other way, but to cross a bridge, it becomes all I can think about before I even leave the house, and I can actually feel my heart start pounding, and feel myself begin to shake.

The fear is not so much for myself, as it is for my wife and children.

I guess the point is, I know many of you have your own phobias, whether or not you wish to share them is up to you.

I chose to share mine, to possibly discuss it, and hopefull ease or eliminate it.

 

[Naeem|THB]

I see what you mean, I do have some pretty nasty dreams, But the thing is i never actual can remember what they were about or i will suddenly remember a few days later, They never put me off from doing anything although it does make me thing Why is your brain thinking about nasty stuff like that, But then again we all sometimes have very pleasant dreams. I'm not sure how you can eliminate the thoughts time is the answer i guess.

 

[Exon]

Mark,
Has your phobia ever happened in real life to anyone? How many times has it happened? How many times in recent years? And how many people cross those bridges (even the Liberty Bridge) without problems?

As for me I don't have any big phobia's per say. And for dreaming I don't remember any of my dreams - but I have been told that they've gotta be violent. I've choked someone in my sleep, I've kicked and punched someone in my sleep, and very often I yell, "Stop" or "don't". All of this without remembering it the next day. Oh, and I sleep with my eyes open a lot.

 

[ldcdc]

I don't think this can quality as a real phobia, but interestingly enough I do have a fear of hights. It only becomes apparent if I take the time to think about it though. the more I think how powerless I would be in midair, the more the fear grows.

How many times has it happened?

That was my first question. I mean, bridges usually have very serious safety features..

Oh, and I sleep with my eyes open a lot.

I've been told I do that as well. I think that's why I injured my right eye about two months ago...

 

[dubs]

Im alright with heights I guess. I think I was afraid of it when I was little, but after my Dad made me go on on those roller coasters and tower of terros with him, I think its cool now when I got on high things (Gets my adreniline pumping). I hate snakes now though. Always have, always will.

 

[ANMMark]

That was my first question. I mean, bridges usually have very serious safety features..

Why is your brain thinking about nasty stuff like that

After thinking about it for a while, I believe that my nightmare was outlining one possibility, and used something I have to do almost on a daily basis.

I truly believe the deep seeded fear is losing my family, and not being able to do a thing about it.

 

[Exon]

I truly believe the deep seeded fear is losing my family, and not being able to do a thing about it.

I can understand that, and relate.

 

[pmhoran]

Mark ... don't get me started on my phobias hahahaha.

But about yours specifically ... I think its natural if you've had a very realistic dream as you've had, to experience "remnants". And the fear for the safety of family when you are a parent is entirely common.

Having said that, if you feel this fear or phobia has "grabbed" a hold of you ... you might want to consider having a few appointments with a counsellor to help you "get past it". If you don't feel you can get past it on your own that is.

Your hands shaking and rapid heart beat are signs you might be on the verge of a panic or anxiety attack. These are not to be trifled with. The stories I could tell you

These fears & phobias have a nasty habit of getting worse if left unchecked. If you find each time you go over these bridges ... your anxiety is becoming a bit less ... then I would suspect your mind is slowly working its way through it. If your anxiety seems to be getting worse ... then speaking with a counsellor might be the best thing you can do for yourself ... and your family. Catching it near its start makes fixing it a whole lot easier.

Take care
Peter

 

[ANMMark]

The fact is, there truly is not much that I am afraid of. My mother used to joke that I "would look satan in the eye, and give him the finger" lol

That is why this surprised me so much.

I would really like to try to get through it on my own, etc. I've never been one to follow along with counceling. I tried a councelor for another issue, when I was in highschool, and left feeling like "They don't know how I feel." In general, just felt like them telling me I had nothing to worry about, etc, was not helping with the actual issue.

So, while I'm certainly not against them, or making an appointment with one, I find that I would be more likely to sit in their office, rolling my eyes at almost everything they say to me, in frustration.

In highschool, the personal issue I had, had me seek the help of a councelor, only to eventually say "to heck with this" and work through it myself. I literally shut the problem off, and it did in fact go away.

I'm of course not saying, that I'm beyond seeking professional councelling for this, but my experiences with councelors in the past, have left me extremely frustrated, and ultimately working through my problem by myself.

Thank you for your input Peter, it has in fact made me think, and is very helpful.

I would certainly like to hear more from you about this.

 

[pmhoran]

Hi Mark ...

Seeing a counsellor about a phobia and seeing one about something like anger management or self esteem issues or teenage angst ... its totally different.

There have been almost actual "protocols" developed and that are used by counsellors specializing in phobias to help people get past them or at least cope with them better. Its none of this "and what do you think would help you" crap. As far as I am concerned ... in a lot of cases ... seeing a counsellor or a shrink is a total waste of time and money. The Maury Show aside (hahaha) ... there really are "tried & true" methods that do help people conquer phobias in just one or a few visits.

Maybe you can work your way through this thing ... if so, then all the more power to you But if you find you can't ... don't discount the help a counsellor specializing in phobias can be ... especially not because of an experience with one in high school. Combatting a phobia is whole lot different than psychoanalysis

Peter

 

[pmhoran]

The fact is, there truly is not much that I am afraid of. My mother used to joke that I "would look satan in the eye, and give him the finger" lol

That is why this surprised me so much.

I bet you would still "look satan in the eye and give him the finger"

A phobia, in my book, isn't really reflective of a person's character or of bravery or anything. There sometimes is no rhyme or reason to why a person has a phobia. Its just there.

True story ... a friend of mine ... 6'6" 300lbs if he is an ounze ... long distance trucker and when he isn't driving all over the continent he is a "big bad biker dude". He's afraid of nothing or no one. Ran into a burning house a number of years back and saved the 3 people inside before the fire department got there. But lordy ... put a bug on his shoulder and you soon learn he can still scream like a little girl hehehehehehe He doesn't care if they squash against him when he is on his bike ... or even if he eats a few while on the road. Just don't let one land on his shoulder ... and if one does land on his shoulder, its up to someone else to get rid of it. He just can't do it on his own. He's been that way since we were kids.